Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Do People Actually Like Sex and the City?

Really, what's the big deal with Sex and the City? What's so great about it? I just don't get it.

Maybe it's because I'm a guy?... a straight guy?... a 20 year-old straight guy?

I don't know, I just don't get the obsession with the show. What exactly do people like about the show? The common answers, thanks to our amazingly credible, talented and meaningful news broadcasts who devote their time to obviously worthwhile news stories: Strong female characters, their friendships, New York City, female sexuality and witty dialogue.

This coming from our amazing mass media that would rather spend more time on Paris Hilton than Darfur, and devote more airtime on Tom Cruise than what's really going on in Iraq.

I suppose the show has it's moments where the writers get lucky and allow someone to say something that actually is funny, but witty banter? Come on... there's more highlights from speeches from our President.

Yeah, I get it - one of them really, really loves shoes; another one of 'em likes to get drilled and make sex jokes. Women taking control of their own sexuality by saying the word "vagina" and making penis jokes - talented and empowering, eh?

I know the show definitely does have its strong following of fans, but what's with the media's obsession with the show and its characters? It doesn't represent New York as it really is, and they are simply characters. What is with the news broadcasts making such a big deal about this movie as if it's the biggest movie of the year?

Is it because it's New York media, that people in the New York area feel a connection on another level? You know, because it's so rare for TV shows and movies to take place in New York City. But hell, I've never seen a minute of 24 or Lost, and I'm sickened by the popularity of American Idol and Grey's Anatomy, so obviously I'm not exactly the target audience for Sex and the City, either.

Why does Sarah Jessica Parker get so much credit? People have a hard time separating actors from the characters they portray. Frankly, if she was really like her character in the show, wouldn't that be one of the most annoying/irritating people to deal with on a daily basis?

She's listed as an executive producer for half the series. And I hate to break it to you fans but this actually does not mean a whole lot much. It's not as if the characters, the ideas, the s
tory lines are her brainchild. Executive producer is a vague title.

A producer can simply be the main financier, or, from wikipedia, "
Sometimes, this title is conferred upon a celebrity or notable creator who has lent their name to a project to boost its prestige or credibility, as a recognition of newly-acquired industry status, or as a perk to the show's main star." And she never claimed to be more than she is.

But many fans credit her portrayal of her character as being their saving grace, their hope that somewhere out there (preferably in New York City, because they're moving there to be like Carrie) is a man who is 'perfect' [yet willing to put up with their shit and actually be with them].

Peter Griffin said it best: "They let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV and she looks like a foot!"

My only problem with Sarah Jessica Parker is that she's married to Matthew Broderick. When Ferris Bueller's Day Off quickly became my favorite movie at an early age I guess I kinda hopes he was gonna be with his girlfriend from the movie. At least she doesn't look like a foot.


It's no doubt that the biggest allure to female fans is that the main characters are female. That the show is about four women and their friendships and the way they take control of and talk about their sexuality. And yes, the gay best friend that's a given. So it's not as if this movie has a universal audience - why does the media portray this as 'thee' movie America has been waiting for?

And I'm sure it's going to do very well at the box office. How will it compare to Indiana Jones' opening weekend's Friday-Sunday take, well, I have my opinions but only time will tell.

I just think it's over-rated. I can't blame the actresses for the show/movie's success, it's not their fault. They should be commended for and given credit for their work. I just don't get the frantic
obsession with it all. Kim Catrell likes getting naked and gets to say the most sexually explicit lines - so? When guys do this on TV shows and movies, it's considered a bad thing.

To men out there who will be forced to see this movie with their wives/girlfriends and unfortunately inflate Sex and the City's inevitable large box-office take, I apologize to you. And for those of you [women] who think Sarah Jessica Parker is beautiful,look at her old lady hands.

I couldn't find a picture of her as a foot from the Family Guy episode. Hopefully I'll come across it.

And not that I see this happening, but should Indiana Jones' second week box-office draw be larger than Sex and the City's this weekend, well, wouldn't that be something?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Theta Chi: Not Just My Fraternity, Drug Ring Specialists

A little over a year ago, I became a member of the Theta Chi Fraternity at Syracuse. A little over a week ago, news broke out that the Theta Chi chapter in San Diego State University was involved in a serious drug ring. 75 students got busted in a months long undercover operation by police known as Operation Sudden Fall.

Oh Theta Chi, how proud I am of my national fraternity. Actually, that's not true... nor is it false, really. See, I don't care so much about my fraternity in the national sense. I'm no exactly all about it in a national sense. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be a member - of MY house.

Our motto is supposed to be 'lend a helping hand.' I didn't join the house to do community service. And as awful as that might sound, that doesn't mean that I'm against helping causes. But seriously, I didn't go through pledging so that one day, hopefully, I can become a Big Brother to someone who needs one, or fund raise for a local diabetes organization.

I joined the house because they seemed like cool guys. I love living in the house and doing shit with the guys, and we're proud of the house on our campus - in the sense that it represents us. Not the whole national hullabaloo.

Nationall, all our house are supposed to be alcohol-freeThe house is also supposed to be alcohol-free, according to Theta Chi Nationally. How much would that suck? Seriously.

I don't read the news about the SDSU chapter and think "Oh no, our national reputation is soiled! I'm so embarrassed for my fraternity as a national organization." Fuck that. I think it's funny.

It's funny that they got caught. 96 people were arrested; 75 of them SDSU students. A total of six fraternities were suspended, yet Theta Chi seems to be the only name thrown around. Police seized "two kilos of cocaine, 350 ecstasy pills, a lot of marijuana, psychedelic mushrooms, hash oil, methamphetamine, illicit prescription drugs, several guns and at least $60,000 in cash."

Those dumb idiots sent out a mass text message to hundreds of past clients telling them that they were in Vegas or the weekend, they'd be back to sell them coke and listed the prices. They got caught; that's funny stuff.

Come to think of it, we could use a little money ourselves... maybe a smaller drug ring wouldn't be such a bad idea?

Oh Theta Chi, good job boys.

Friday, May 9, 2008

A-Rod's Performance Is Consistent On & Off The Field: He's A Bitch

A very interesting piece of news is beginning to circulate. Apparently in 2004 during the birth of his first child, A-Rod's performance in the delivery room was so substandard that nurses were turning their attention away from his wife towards him.

November 18, 2004 was the date.

"“The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head. The other nurse had the blood pressure on his arm. And my mother was like rubbing his back. And he is passed out on a couch. And I am there, in the middle of labor,” said his wife. “And really, I am not bein
g paid much attention to besides the doctor and a couple of nurses,” she said. “And he is there moaning. In between pushing, I am going, ‘Honey, are you OK?’ and ‘Are you breathing? Are you OK?’... In the middle of the night, I realized that I needed to go to the hospital. I wake him up. The first thing that comes out of his mouth, ‘Can we call your mother?’

I mean, I didn't really have respect for the guy before this, but now? PSH. Perhaps if the kid was born in May instead of the fall, his performance would've been better. A month after playing a pivotal role in the biggest collapse in baseball history when the Yankees blew a 3 game lead and allowed the Red Sox to take the series and become World Series Champions, A-Rod's autumn performances consistently stunk.

So again, as the leaves turn brown and begin to fall from the trees, the A-Rod that people know from April to September flips a 180, as does his performance. Boy, the richest man in baseball who people deem inaccurately as the best in the game just cannot get it done when it counts. Due to his lack of production, you'd probably think artificial insemination. But since the baby was born in November, that would make it February/March, when he can perform.

I just find it so incredibly funny that this story came out. As if he wasn't already fielding enough shots to his character and performance, does he really need his wife saying this on the YES Network?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

How The Big Lebowski Made Me Want To Be A Better Jew, & The Only Bad Thing About The Movie

"3,000 Years of Beautiful Tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax
YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I'M FUCKING LIVING IN THE PAST!"



Ah yes, the universal inspiration for all us Long Island Jews that just aren't that religious. And by Long Island Jew, I mean that I went to a Jewish sleep-away camp for the last decade of my life. There, I always wished I was more... Jewish. Yet by the time I got home and school started, I cared just as much as I did before I left for the summer.

Though it might be sad that it took Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) from
The Big Lebowski for me to finally see the light - as long as it happens, right? The aforementioned quote really got me thinking. Jews are always talking about their past, and things that happened throughout their history. Yet I guess we have good reason to.

Yes, I say "we" because although I'm not extremely religious, I definitely consider myself Jewish, and proud of it. After all, we have Moses and Sandy Koufax on our side.

I don't want to harp on the subject in a preaching manner; that is not my intention. I just found it interesting that such an inspiration quote can come from such an odd source.

"Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! Shomer Shabbos! Shomer fuckin' Shabbos!"

One last thing to note about The Big Lebowski... there is by my count one, and only one, very very bad thing about the movie. The scene where the Dude, Walter and Donny leave the bowling alley only to find that the Dude's car is not there spawned the 83 minute waste of time, energy and resources known as Dude, Where's My Car? (2000). As Walter uttered those five fateful words, "Dude... where is your car?" - Some schmuck named Philip Stark got the inspiration to write a script that turned into that awful movie. It wasn't your fault Lebowski, but it is still a shame.