The Unentertaining Cedric The Entertainer

What’s the deal with Cedric: The Entertainer?

Seriously, what’s his deal?

First of all, what kind of name is that? First name Cedric, that’s perfectly fine. Middle name The? Last name Entertainer? So when he goes to the doctor or files his taxes, is his file under Entertainer, Cedric The? Entertainer, Cedric T.?

Seriously, did he legally change his name to that? Or is it in the way Bob Dylan’s real name is Robert Allen Zimmerman? I would draw a comparison to Larry The Cable Guy, but I don’t have enough respect for him to even mention his name… Oops.

I suppose that alone, on the surface, really bugs me about him. He was born Cedric Antonio Kyles, and I suppose having a somewhat generic human name wasn’t good enough for him. He needed to stand out, and as an aspiring comedian that certainly makes sense.

He really needs a “The”? Ceddy, the Entertainer. Psh.

Well, I suppose it really doesn’t matter as long as his work speaks for itself. Let’s take a look at how some of the movies he headlined fared at the box-office.

Codename: The Cleaner (2007): $8 Million

The Honeymooners (2005): $12 Million

Johnson Family Vacation (2004): $31 Million

Kingdom Come (2001): $23 Million

Cedric: The Entertainer in Codename: The Cleaner, $8 Million. A movie that cost $20 Million to make only pulled in $8 at the box office. So, apparently he’s not at the iconic status in the eyes of America to successfully pull off a “The” name. Yet, he does it anyway.

What really bugs me about him is that I just plain don’t find him funny. Yet, I feel like he’s everywhere. It’s as if he and Monique signed contracts with the Devil to be everywhere. Why couldn’t they sell their souls to the devil to have some comedic talent? Wouldn’t that have worked out better for them?

I really just don’t see why he’s funny. Is it because I’m white? I really don’t think so. I like a lot of comedians. I just don’t understand how people can find him funny.

His shtick is to say unintelligent things, and make fun of other black people. I mean, youtube him and make a choice for yourself… I just don’t get it.

To me, his greatest achievement was his sidekick role on The Steve Harvey Show (1996-2002). I think he should’ve stopped there.

But, being that his last headline project was 2007 we’re probably due for another amazing Cedric The Entertainer bust due out 2009.

Look out for the 2009 flop Chicago Pulaski Jones with Kel (You know, from Keenan and Kel? You might’ve heard those odd rumors that he was dead, but – no, not dead. Just resurrected by Cedric THEE Entertainer). Chicago Jones? Really? So, expect the blaxploitation knockoff of Indiana Jones to hit theaters (you know, like 12 of them) some time next year.

He continues to put out movies, and declare himself as one of the kings of comedy of our time. And I suppose to the people who find him funny – you know, Steve Harvey, Bernie Mac, Nick Cannon, Katt Williams and President Bush - they will agree with that.

But as for the other 300 Million Americans… Cedric, stop.

Follow in the footsteps of Pauly Shore. After a few tries (In The Army Now, Jury Duty, Bio-Dome), accept that you don’t have comedic talent and fade into the background.

Thank you.