So, I came to a realization about an hour ago. However, allow me to backtrack just a tad. Upon, um, feeling the need to go to the bathroom, I realized something: I live in a frat house.
A very disgusting frat house.
The bathrooms are by far and away the worst component of my living quarters. Just, awful. Once pledging is over with, it's like a homeless shelter in there, I swear it.
TMI? Yeah, sorry bout that.
Anywho, I rolled out of bed and ran to the nearest school building to use their bathroom. Ran into one of the brothers, who was there for an academic and scholastic reason, as for me, I was there for scatological reasons (google it).
So I go to the bathroom. A pretty pleasant experience overall. Or so it seems on the surface. When I'm done and I walk away, automatic flusher. I make my way to the sink, automatic sink. I need soap: automatic soap dispenser. Paper towel? Oh yes, automatic.
Save for wiping, I was totally taken care of in this bathroom by other forces. Seems like a simple luxury. But i started to think as I walked out of the door and down the hallway... holy shit. Some other force, by way of "sensors" knew when i was done, knew when i wanted water, soap and paper towels and delivered them to me. And people just take it without asking questions? People just blindly accept that it's simple technology.
Ever wonder if there's something going on behind the scenes? Ever see the Terminator movies? Well, actually, heh, I've only sent he third one, which sucked, but that's neither here nor there. But Seriously people, machines are beginning to take over.
I think the automatic bathroom experience is the first force in what will eventually wipe out the entire Human Race. You think about it.
Sensors? or more?! When you pee in a urinal (for the guys out there, obviously) and the toilet flushes the second you're done, before you even zip up and walk away, and that robotic voice comes out and says "thank you for your deposit," does that not freak anyone out?
Okay, so I made up the speaking part, but can you imagine? That's probably the next step. If it is, remember where you heard it first: right hizzere, mofos.
All I'm saying is, maybe from a little too many movies, but it's possible people. Don't take things for face value.
Why would someone with technological knowledge spend so much time, money and resources into making an automatic toilet flusher? Is that interesting to anyone? Something else is going on. I'm really not gonna care to try to figure out what, all I'm saying is, you heard it here first. It's coming people, maybe it's already here. The end of the human race.
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2 comments:
Bez,
First of all, absolutely ridiculous. But I admire your imagination. I believe there are several real reasons that someone would use their technological know-how to make automatic everything.
If you have automatic things in your bathroom, there is an enormous amount of waste cut down. It is also nearly impossible to clog the toilets or sinks (not from experience) and that makes a much nicer overall bathroom experience. I also like the automatic towel dispensers because that way you dont have to touch the grimy shit that other people touch (because there are a fair amount of ppl who pull the ol' "run hands under water and dry technique").
Sorry if I burst your bubble boss but I had a good laugh out of it.
-Jeff Blauvelt (former Dellplain Alum)
there is something wrong with you
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